Loving yourself is the most significant evolution. – Jennifer Phelps.
This is the quote that I always look up to.
Accepting and loving myself is the first step to happiness and growth. Investing in myself is the best option investment, like education, physical and mental health, developing new skills, and doing anything to contribute to my long-term well-being.
Backstory
These past few years, I have been struggling to appreciate myself. I lack self-love and trust. I always thought I was insufficient, couldn’t do anything good, and was always a failure.
I always look down on myself, blaming and doubting that whenever I do something, even though I didn’t do anything wrong. I always seek validation and reassurance. Other people’s moods and reactions also affect how I look at myself.
It’s hard to train my mind and body on what is good for me. There are times that after collaborating with colleagues, I feel so down because of “what ifs” that I overthink a lot. What if they are not satisfied with my performance and output?
Challenges
The most challenging part of my life right now is how I will be able to conquer this kind of habit and mindset. I always think negatively about my skills and abilities. I don’t trust that I’m doing great, and people see that.
I’m always afraid that I am not enough. I am thirsty for appreciation and validation; however, once they give me compliments, I don’t believe in them, and it sucks because I want to help myself be more gentle.
I want to grow and develop new behavior. A behavior where I am confident, happy, and trust myself even more that everything can be improved and changed if I only work and focus on it.
Solution
So now, I am starting (again) meditation every morning to practice breathing and clear my mind. Meditation can help start a joyous and happy day without too much stress or overthinking.
Also, I am trying to be consistent in blogging as it helps ease my intrusive thoughts. I may not write a blog post daily, but once I feel something and want to release, write, or share, I write it here.
Journaling or blogging is one of my best escapes because it helps me reduce stress, anxiety, and unwanted thoughts that will improve my mood.
I can even track my progress and how much love I am returning to myself.
